and so I cried..


Last Sunday I was driving my niece home after spending the weekend with us, my daughter was in the car too, they had been very busy that morning and had both fallen asleep almost as soon as we left town, they looked very cute in the back of the car as only sleeping children can.

For a change I felt the need for a bit of music to help me on my way, I was very tired, my niece has been awake a few time during the night crying for her Mum and I had spent some time resettling her.  Elaine Paige was doing her show/movies tune show on Radio 2, great for a singalong so I was warbling along quite happily until she chose Total Eclipse of the Heart, the Glee version.

This song has a resonance for me of late especially this part…

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

And so I found myself singing through my tears trying to concentrate on the road ahead whilst trying to mentally analyse what it was about those lyrics that causes this reaction, I have not yet got to the bottom of it, I’m sure as most Mums will say trying to bring up children does often feel like you are personally falling apart.

I do feel having said that, that I still have a lot of light in my life, they can just be very draining…

So I decided to go with the emotion and just let the feeling in my chest and throat flood out through my voice and my tears rather than trying to shove it back down into the small recesses of my core where I am sure it festers…  and so I cried.

Inspired by the prompt on Sleep is for the Weak Writing Workshop “What last made you cry”

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13 Responses to and so I cried..

  1. Susie says:

    I love the Pat Benatar version.

  2. dawniebrown says:

    I love that song, brings back so many memories of life before husband and Zara. Crying is something I just can’t hold back anymore.

    Awesome post 🙂

  3. Carrie says:

    I love this post, it makes me feel sane! I will often be driving along and suddenly burst into song and tears! I thought there was something wrong me. Today it was unbreak my heart by Toni Braxton that got me.

  4. tina says:

    beautiful. you are not alone. it is good you let it out…

  5. jfb57 says:

    You have captured that car journey beautifully. I’ve had the same sort of thing happen – just tears pour out. I think it is a way for our systems to have a release, possibly that we didn’t know we needed! Great post!

  6. Paula says:

    there’s nothing like singing at the top of your voice to fill your heart and nothing like a good cry to clear the emotional backlog. we’ve all done this, only the song changes.
    nice post. x

  7. Deer Baby says:

    Beautiful post. I think we’ve all done that. Just different songs.

  8. Oh well done Julie! The words of that song are so evocative. I’m not surprised you cried. We disappear as women as Mums, our self gets absorbed…we weep. Beautiful post, so well expressed. xxx

  9. mrsljhall says:

    Mine is:

    When the day is long and the night is yours alone,
    When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on
    Don’t let yourself go, ’cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

    Sometimes everything is wrong.
    Now it’s time to sing along
    When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
    If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
    When you think you’ve had too much of this life, well hang on

    ‘Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends
    Everybody hurts. Don’t throw your hand. Oh, no. Don’t throw your hand
    If you feel like you’re alone, no, no, no, you are not alone

    If you’re on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
    When you think you’ve had too much of this life to hang on

    Well, everybody hurts sometimes,
    Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes
    And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on
    Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
    Everybody hurts. You are not alone

    xxxx

    • kailexness says:

      yes, that is a beautiful song and he sings it in such a heartbreaking way…

    • Booperkit says:

      oh God that one does it for me every time. A beautiful post, thanks for sharing.

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  11. Harriet says:

    Just catching up. But OH I love this song. And what a beautiful post.

    On a lighter note, it’s a karaoke favourite too…. Try it sometime. I really recommend it!

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