Billy no mates?

What to do?

My daughter is 4 next month and she has asked for a fancy dress party.

“Who would you like to invite?” I ask

“Sophie, Ben and Jack, Matthew and Samantha” Says she, they are her cousins, Matthew and Samantha are older and probably won’t be that thrilled.

“Any one else?”

“yes, Oliver and Abbey” These are children she has know since birth, it’s Oliver’s birthday on the same day.


“Harrison, Oliver and Esme” Children of our friends.

“Anyone from nursery?”

“No, that’s it”

“What about your other friends at Nursery?”

She looks at me blankly, “I don’t have any other friends”

“Well that sounds like a nice little party doesn’t it”  but quietly my heart is breaking.

Does my beautiful girl not have any friends? She is fun, happy and comical likes tearing around and always has a great time with the other children at nursery, she can be a bit bossy, can’t they all at that age?  Does she really have no friends or is that indicative of the age?

So it looks like we will be having a nice little party at home in a traditional manner with Jelly and ice cream, pass the parcel and musical statues, my limited budget will be thrilled.

So please Mum’s and Dad’s of slightly older children – is her seeming lack of buddies normal?


9 Responses to Billy no mates?

  1. Michelle (Utterlyscrummy) says:

    My soon to be 4yo plays with loads of kids at Nursery but only wants to see one or two outside of that. She has several special friends at Nursery (so she tells me) but doesn’t want them coming to ours. I’m sure your daughter is fine, perhaps she doesn’t feel comfortable having them come to yours just yet. I think it takes them a while to feel safe letting other kids come to their home, it’s as if it’s their special safe haven just with family and they are reluctant to share it. She’ll grow out of it. My 7yo didn’t want her friends over until she was 5yo and half way through her Reception year and no amount of asking would sway her. Enjoy the party lovely xx

    • kailexness says:

      Thanks Michelle
      I’m probably being paranoid, she is a really happy little thing, hasn’t asked to see anyone this holiday except her cousins and Oliver. I couldn’t find anything on the internet about friendship development at this age.

  2. jfb57 says:

    I’m sure if there had been a problem the nursery would have told you so try not to worry. What is she going as?

    • kailexness says:

      I haven’t asked but it will be as a princess – no doubt, *sigh* and I tried so hard to avoid it….

  3. Vegemitevix says:

    Perfectly normal hun. All three of mine had different approaches to their social lives. Son had one or two close friends. Even at 12 I had to struggle to get him to invite more than one kid to his party. At 16 he is still on the shy side, but seems perfectly happy with his own company and being part of the general crowd. I hope when he heads off to college he meets some like minds. They seem few and far between but when they click they become lifelong frends.

    Dark Princess has always had stacks of friends. More acquaintances really. No one real best friend. Her birthday parties were always very difficult as she wanted to invite the whole class.

    Miss Ten is the most diplomatic and socially profficient of my three. She has a nice mix of close friends and palsy friends.

    Your daughter sounds as if she really has a couple of kids she feels really comfortable with and that’s great, especially at only just four!

  4. Matrix says:

    As I said on Twitter maybe she chooses her friends wisely ?

  5. Pingback: Tweets that mention Billy no mates? « Allaboutus and such like --

  6. TheMadHouse says:

    Very Normal, Mini hasnt yet made those connections prefering family and Maxi’s friends. It will happen

  7. Sarah says:

    All sounds perfectly normal from my personal experience with my little’uns x sometimes they feel overwhelmed at the thought of a big party and would rather a few close friends or even just family. Relax and enjoy it :)x

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