Selfish, selfish Mummy.

Well Heellllooo January! *waves and blows a kiss* It seems to have taken you a long time to get here.  I’m sure old father time is not really standing there with his finger blocking the second hands onward journey out of spite at me personally; but OMG how long has it taken the last two weeks to pass?

Okay, so there has been illness (both smalls were ill before and over Christmas and then I was ill over new year) and the smalls really miss nursery and their friends.  We also clocked up a few miles first to Thornbury for a really lovely day with my Mum and Step Dad, my sister and brother and their families.  Then to Corby for a visit with my Dad and Step Mum during which my Dad played ‘tracks’ and tools and dollies for hours, we also saw my other sister and her boys and I got to unleash myself at the soft play center, bliss.

Then Daddy was home a lot more of course which is a mixed blessing. Yes, I actually got to see him for a while, the winter is his busiest time and this winter seems to have been worst than most. After him getting a little more sleep than usual there were improvements that I have no intention of complaining about.  He also picked up the slack when I was ill, not a luxury us Mum’s get to enjoy out of holiday season! But routines change when an extra person is in the house all the time, it seems that life doesn’t run as smoothly as it normally does…

I do love spending time with my smalls and we enjoy drawing, sticking, baking, dancing, charging around, going to the park feeding the ducks et al.  At 7pm that’s it, up the stairs, pj’s bathroom, bed.  I know I’m a ‘geriatric’ Mum but at the end of the day with the small people I’m knackered.    How do other women cope? It escapes me how some of my friends relish the holidays spending every moment entertaining the smalls and letting them stay up late and express deep regret when school /nursery resumes.  I have to conclude that I must be a really selfish woman…

Because (here it comes) – I enjoy my own company at some point during the busy day, “enjoy” might be putting too finer point on it… I need head space and silence and I increasingly need to get thoughts and feelings out of my head.  Me time is a critical necessity and it has been in very short supply.  Even with the strictly enforced bedtime and the reduction of frantic small people after 7pm,  Daddy likes the TV on even when he’s on his laptop and I do find this noise intrusive.  So apart from the odd moment of sneaking off to the bedroom to gossip with twitter and vent at my keyboard I’m feeling a little stretched right now.

Our nursery resumes tomorrow, both the smalls are in for the morning and the little lady will stay all afternoon too, I am meeting a Mummy friend for a much needed catch up and gossip session and then I intend to put my feet up for an hour before picking up the little man. I’m sure once we manage to re engage into our ordinary lives and routines balance will return and it is all about balance isn’t it.

So you are welcome, January; pull up a pew and make yourself at home for a while….


6 Responses to Selfish, selfish Mummy.

  1. JulieB says:

    I do relish time with my children in the holidays….but then I work full-time, so for me it is a rarer treat. As with everything, I guess it comes down to moderation. I don’t see my children as often as perhaps I would like to deep down, but conversely I don’t think I would be able to spend all my time with them either (really – hats off to people like you that do!)
    So lovely to finally meet you in person – must do it again soon!

    • kailexness says:

      That probably is some of it isn’t it, weekends and weekdays no escape.. It was great to meet you too, we must do it again – without my children LOL!

  2. We all need a bit of ‘me’ time; thats not selfish thats recharging so you can be the best Mum in the world!

  3. It doesn’t sound selfish to me, unless I’m selfish too! Piglet is still very young so she’s at home with me all day, DH works 12 hours shifts so in the week it’s just me and her all day. I love it but sometimes it’s tough too so I really relish the time between her going to bed and DH coming home. Just a bit of time for me; peace, quiet, no demands, bliss!

  4. Jen says:

    Well then I am selfish too, I NEED space and time and I definitely don’t spend all day baking/sewing and doing stickery stuff with the kids. Yep, bad mum, but I am sane (ish) Jen

  5. stay strong – one day they will be in school and you have 6 hours off!


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