Like a lot of women all over Great Britain – a few hundred at least – I’m leaving my family for the first time since the smalls have come along, not just for the night but two… Two child free nights. Their Daddy is determined to cope all by himself and to his credit I think he will.

I know, if you are in the bloggesphere you will probably see so many posts echoing this.

How many of those women are worrying about leaving, having second thoughts, feeling the wrench from their small people? Some? All? How many are yelling yahoo and running for the train at full pelt? Do you think any less of them for grasping a small corner of solitude?

Do any of us really realise how hard being a parent is until we get there…

I must admit that as the smalls get bigger (now 3 and almost 5) it’s getting easier.

One of the hardest issues I think I face now, as they grow, is regaining some of the independence I lost having them.  I gave it up willingly and would do it again without a flicker of doubt but grasping it back is harder.

Coming to Motherhood late as I have,  I was used to carving my own path, doing things independently, I am happy in my own company and often crave solitude.  As my husband entered my life we did things to together with the occasional jaunt out as a single woman and so it diminished and now it just doesn’t ever happen anymore, to the point where I said to the hubby the other week that I would love to just take off for a weekend like I used to, to pitch a tent up somewhere, flop out on the beach, eat when it suits me, go where I please. Just for a weekend. (I’d miss them like hell but….)  It seems that this option is no longer available. He knows me better then to get too hurt by this remark and perhaps it is just my petulant streak voicing itself but life just isn’t like that is it! I chose to get married, chose to have children and so I’m expected to spend my time with them. All my time, always.

Fair enough.

or is it?

3 Responses to Solitude

  1. Joanne says:

    I still miss most the ablility to wander out to the pub for just a pint,and walk up a mountain come the weekend.. followed by another pint! Would thoroughly recommend sending them both to school though…. I at least get quiet time during the day 🙂

    • Kailexness says:

      Oh I do!!!!!! and next year I get 3 days not just two!

  2. Me says:

    Roll on the 22nd July – not a weekend in a tent or time by the sea, but still, time out with the girls x

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