Pulled in all directions whilst trying to find center


I found myself pulled to my blog today. I haven’t been neglecting it as such I just have had other things to do and write and it’s level of importance has diminished to what it used to be.  I clicked on new post because that’s what you do when your fingers itch and your mind swirls and you know you need to write, if not for the desire to have something to say or that others need to read but for the sanity ‘this mess must leave my head now’ factor.  This seems to be what I come here for, good or bad for others it works for me.

And this mess this time? What is it? It’s about transients, the fluid movement of people through your life, they touch it, they move on, some stay, some you wish didn’t but mostly as we move through life people go.  On a much more Micro scale but still seemingly important to me is the transience of Twitter.  This week saw the deletion of 2 accounts, people with whom I converse almost daily who decided for good reasons to delete their accounts. In both instances I talk to both of these people in other areas of twitter so they have not left me completely but the fall out from them deleting, seeming to disappear had a marked effect on those they left behind. On both days their absence was almost immediately noted and their was genuine loss that they had gone. I found myself saddened by this but I did note that as in reality, life went on at an alarming quick pace.  “They chose to go, that’s bad, I’m sad, moment passed, continue, as you were.”

I mused to myself, if I left cyberspace today, who would actually miss me?

Please DON’T leave comments saying ‘I would!’ as nice as they would be that’s not what me having this rant is about; also I’m not planning on doing it but in reality it has bought me up short and left me feeling a little cold.  IF I was to delete my blogs, delete my Twitter accounts and Facebook, scrap my emails, change my phone, remove myself from the internet and just not be; How long would people care.

The answer is not bloody long at all because there are thousands of women blogging their souls into the internet, millions striving for witty recognition on Twitter and unless someone is family, a soul mate or on your actual physical doorstep it’s out of sight out of mind. Perhaps that in itself is why we do it? Why twitter and blogging works for me so well and so many other individual who find it a life line, we come, we vent, we feel better and if we chose to ‘get a life’ we can at the flick of a switch, the press of a button. Or we can reinvent ourselves and come right back, fresh-faced, a new persona with no history or baggage and start again.

Food for thought….

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3 Responses to Pulled in all directions whilst trying to find center

  1. nickithepink says:

    This is a very big point J.. I wonder how many of us know the answer? I have asked myself the same question recently for the same reasons. Bloody well said lovely! xx

  2. Bumbling says:

    Horrendously late to this post. It’s been sitting open in my browser for at least a week…

    But anyway, would I miss you? In the sense that you are asking? No, I wouldn’t. There wouldn’t be a huge gaping hole in my life left to be filled. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s what you mean.

    But do I want to keep reading your soul blogged out? Hell yes. You’re a voice that I’ve found, that I like, that I’m interested in. Yes, there are others. But I found you. And I’m sticking around. I hope you do too.

    • Kailexness says:

      Yes, it’s what I mean… Thanks for being here and commenting, it means a lot to me xx

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