Climbing off the shelf

Life is all about change, we strive to get the balance right at each and every twist in the road. It will twist and turn because as we evolve personally the path we walk changes too.

I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday and we briefly touched on the parenting journey and the choices I and Mr.K took to begin that journey. It took a while to fall pregnant but we decided that if we were going to embark on this rollercoaster journey we would do it all in, which to us was a full time parent and a worker. I still can’t believe how fortunate we were to be able to pursue this path, more luck than judgement certainly!

I’m not sure anyone really knows beforehand just how intensive being a stay at home mum actually is; especially with two or more children close in age. For the first 10 years of their lives, yours is secondary, there are no breaks or holidays, you are ‘mum’ 24/7 with, if you can wangle it, the odd gap of 24 hours thanks to the occasional sleep over, even during that time you don’t stop thinking about them. I can only speak from my own experience of course, for eleven years every thought, consideration, plan and decision has put them first. And, you know that’s fine, I spent 36 years before they arrived being ‘me’ or ‘us’ I knew who I was, I remember her well and I can honestly say I’d put ‘me’ on the shelf again to concentrate on being ‘mum’ if I had to re-do it all.

Now, as we are on the brink of our next life chapter, with the amazing daughter about to move into secondary school and the little man entering into year 6 and trying to grasp the concept of his first ever year at school without his big sister, it falls on me to consider that in the last three years I have been slowly easing off the mummy shelf and finding small ways to be me again.

Obviously, we still have quite a journey ahead of us, the countdown to independence as they go through teen age and spread their wings. But I’m very aware that in this time of showing them how to care for themselves and function in the world I must look toward my place and what that means to me, to us now, moving forwards.




About Kailexness
I am a Mother, a wife, a lover, a daughter, a friend but mostly I’m a woman. Time to shake off the labels and just let the words roll out….

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