Staring at a blank page again…

Its time for a mind ramble..

It’s not like I haven’t tried to write, although to be fair to me (which I do try to do, even with a propensity to be too hard on myself.) life moves so fast and I’m often pulled in so many directions that my head spins.  As each day closes I remind myself to feel blessed that I reached the end of it with everyone I love safe and well. Compared to this, this full life of “stuffs” the need to write is just a niggle which I file mentally under “Things to do next week” along with printing off my endless back log of digital photos and actually doing some housework.

Sometimes the niggle is louder, so I muse on Facebook. Short, sharp often humorous (I hope) status updates observing the latest thing to tickle my fancy, the niggle is short-lived, easily placated and gets burried as I’m pulled into the next thing, endless refereeing, creating culinary masterpieces (scoffs loudly) school runs, evening clubs (theirs not mine, I have no social life!), preparing for trips, ironing work clothes, watching them display their latest achievements on the trampoline… and I do so love it all. It’s good this life. A pause button would of course make it better.

Today I find myself with a little extra time due to school play rehearsals, so I thought, get on with it, and then I thought, I have nothing to say. This discussion has ended my writing aspiration so many time I can not even begin to calculate, it may even have happened daily since my last post… Today I decided I would tell you this. Which makes today a very different day indeed.

In most respects its been a very normal Wednesday! I get more head space on Wednesdays as a rule, the small people have a woodland wander to school which means I get to drop them off earlier. After a brief logistical chat with one of my most fabulous friends, about various to-ings and fro-ings of children I headed home to coffee and i-pad time before work. I work part-time and this morning was a quiet one with friendly customers and chats about camping, puppies and the inability of any human to multitask. After work I wandered through the town running the odd errand, indulging on my favourite pass time of saying hello and exchanging news with people I know, spreading smiles. I was even brave enough to say hello to someone I thought I recognised from Instagram! (It was her too! which is even lovelier.) On arriving home I was greeted as usual by the black and white ninjacat, aka Twinkle, who has mellowed with age to being passably polite to most people and occasionally loving towards me, the food provider. Lunch was an indulgence of goats cheese and chorizo and then I found myself facing the dilema – I could clean/wash/iron/vacumn/sort/tidy etc or I could crochet/sew/read/game etc or I could write…. Guess what won.

Life changes.  Gone is the need to tweet to maintain adult contact in a world filled with nappies and peppa pig. No more, the desire to invite the world of the internets to know my every movement and dinner, it seems.  I never was one for selfies.  The daughter (now 10, I know, when the hell did that happen!) is adverse to my sharing her picture or doings on a web site (and I repect that) so any drivel I do splash onto this page about the smalls needs permission, although its usually granted.  The cats, adoreable as they are, are much the same as anybody elses. I never did write much about Mr. K as it would end up being a moan (possibly) and I’m much too loyal to mouth off so publicly about his good self.  I find myself a little bereft of subject matter.  So please forgive me if another year or so passes before I darken your door again.

 

 

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A brief spattering

We had a little bit of snow, not much at all, enough to create much excitement!

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It’s the fastest I’ve ever managed to get the little lady out of bed! She spent ages in the garden playing with the snow before school.  The little man is not so keen but got carried away by his sisters enthusiasm.

The school run was a trauma, the council don’t grit the road leading to school and its rather steep in places.  We had icy conditions with cars sliding and traffic backed up rather fast.  It was my day for traffic management, so I left my car at the top of the hill and walked down with the smalls. I was pleased I did! Ours is only a small school but everyone drops off in 20 minutes, its usually a well oiled machine but ungritted roads are a bit of a nightmare. A little bit of snow causes so much havoc in the UK but I still love it to bits!

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We had to pause to take a picture of the snowdrops, it’s become rather a tradition, the first flowers poking their head out after the dullness of December, it’s the hope of new life they bring.  We stop, huddled together and proclaim over them every year.  Beautiful.

I hope you are staying warm and safe and enjoying the snow (or your own weather) wherever you are!!

Do that thing!

You know that thing, when you stop doing something you once did. You stop doing it for so long that it becomes almost impossible to start again, yet you want to start again but for what ever reason you feel you can’t. That.

All the reasons stream around your head; I can’t just now, I’m too tired/brain fogged/have nothing to say/busy/have nothing to say/out of practice/have still more nothing to say…

If you love doing something enough, you know you will come back to it when the time is right, yet that is an excuse too, it’s not the right time.

Such is my relationship with this little bloggy thing.

it’s been such a long time (over a year, yet I wasn’t very good at it before that.) I feel rusty, I still don’t have much to say and yet so much! it’s been a very big year, lots of ups and many many downs, life changes, learning curves, the road has been bumpy with cow sized pot holes.  I stopped talking and sharing somewhere along the way, I abandoned twitter, couldn’t manage more that naff facebook updates. I stopped writing, the stream of images in my head dried up. There was nothing but cotton wool and tinnitus.

Just sitting here shows me how far I have come in the last few months.

Perhaps its time. Perhaps not, I’m nervous. WordPress looks different, I feel out of my depth, the number of times I have said to myself “will you just get bl**dy on with it woman!”

So I took a deep breath and opened up this page and just started spewing type at it, which is pretty much all I ever did anyway. Perhaps I won’t say another thing until January 2016, perhaps I will find myself here again tomorrow. I really don’t know! I guess, like the rest of my road to recovery, its all about pacing, about taking one day at a time, about feeling my way.

It’s all about me!!!

*sniggers*

2014? No, seriously?

So here we all are, 2014…. It’s well underway already and has started well in our little corner of the world. So far, we are doing okay. *touch wood*

The year of the Horse… The international year of family, farming and crystallography!

The year is unfurling in front of us, as it always seems to do once you get past silly season. We have thought about holidays, discussed caravans and cars, locations. Got confused about where the first week of summer should be spent (Cornwall or Wales, I’d like to do both but they are both happening the same week!) Considered plans for evening entertainments, It seems that the small people are of a ‘scouting’ age. I’ve signed the little lady up for Brownies and the little man is chatting about beavers, he’s still a little young but almost there. The little lady is practicing hard for her Orange belt, the grading is set for April, she and himself have bought a kick bag to practice with.

I’m thinking of ‘sausage inna bun’ nights and perhaps a souper Sunday get together! I’m looking forward to a party in March for a 60th and wondering if himself and I might get the prospect of a child free weekend and if so, what to do.

Chinese New Year is almost upon us, one of the little ladies close friends is from China, in past years we have had parties and lanterns, red envelopes and Chinese crafts. It’s always a fun time.

2014 sees the approach of the Winter Olympics, a firm favourite in this house, especially the skeleton. The smalls loved the 2012 Olympics and all the excitement it generated. It will be their first Winter Olympics they are old enough to watch and enjoy. Russia is a fascinating place, I’m looking forward to discussions of culture, vodka, weather and much more as I’m sure there will be topics at school and much coverage.

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Pancake day seems late this year, march 4th, we don’t need an excuse for pancakes in this house, we love them, I think we may have to do a few trial runs 😉

And soon, before we know where we are, the snowdrops will raise their gentle heads, followed by crocuses, then daffodils….

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Some friends of our left for the US of A today, there have been tears. I’ve managed to hold back the floods in the face of my friends wobbly lipped braveness but the little lady has balled her heart out. We’ve installed skype on my iPad so she can gossip to her friend across the Atlantic. I have put CST time into my world clock, I can tell we are going to have some issues explaining that one! Anyway… We wish them well on their adventure and we will see you soon!

Come dine with us….

We don’t do many dinner parties. My minimal cooking ability fell into disgraceful disrepair when I married a man who eats for fuel not pleasure, we also set up home together a long way from anyone we knew and then proceeded to be antisocial (at best) together, again due to location and work etc…. When the children came along I did meet some lovely ladies and started being social locally but the men never really meshed. I was also deeply ashamed of my thrown together kitchen which had 3 different styles of unit. Not ideal to invite someone to your home and then feel you have to apologise for its dilapidation.

So, I’m a shocking cook, a shocking house wife, can’t organise my way out of a paper bag….
The excuses we give ourselves to not make an effort… Shameful!

Just recently though, we have found ourselves in a fabulous social circle, more by luck than judgement to be honest and the amazingly welcoming people who seem to enjoy our company keep inviting us to their lovely homes. Payback is of course a pleasure to provide; but I’m reet rusty on being hostess and have a propensity to burn water.

And a little scared to be fair….

With all bullets to bite, starting somewhere needs to happen. So Friday evening we invited some friends and their daughter to dinner. On the way home we were discussing the coming evening and I said to their little girl “You are coming to ours for dinner but you are going to have to cook it yourself,” the look I got was priceless! “No!” She said, at which point my girl started dancing around in glee “cook it ourself?!” She giggled “Oh! Are we using that grill thing?” “Yes! We are going to have Raclette.”

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One of our fondest memories of our skiing holidays is the Raclette evenings. Friends all sitting around a large table in a chalet in La Clusaz. A roaring fire in the corner, wine flowing, filling our little dishes with food and popping them under the grill, the meat sizzling on the top, more wine, loads of laughter… Lovely!

My husbands favourite part was the Tartiflette, a Haute Savoie dish comprising of potatoes, bacon, onions, Reblochon cheese and cream. (Here’s mine ready for the oven)

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We also had veggies and pickles to cook.

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And a selection of meats; steak, turkey, chicken and salmon (although I ate my salmon raw, I really can’t resist raw salmon!)

It was a really lovely evening with mini pavlovas for pudding, coffee and chocolate to follow. I know I certainly had a great time! I hope our guests did too, even if they did have to cook their own food!

And so, will we be opening our rusty hinged doors to friends again? You betcha!