Every so often I come back, to this space, my little bloggy space with so much of our history and I revel in the fact it exists. Although badly neglected in recent years I have never had the strength of will to delete it.
April 2010 I started this blog, purely as a place to empty my head; somewhere to share the constraints, frustrations, victories and joy of my life. I was losing sight of myself, approaching my 40th birthday, drowning in routines and what to cook for dinner. Here I had an outlet, although it often seemed I had nothing worth saying, on occasions just saying “I have nothing to say!” was good enough.
I recall that I struggled to find a voice, to fit in with the crowd, the bloggers and the tweeters, the status updaters, the sharers and the social commentators. After re reading most of that first year, 10 years ago, I really shouldn’t of worried so much about that: After continuously blogging now for 10 years, (although elsewhere in a different way,) I think I’ve come to understand myself and my need to be heard is not one that is concerned about being popular or being followed. It’s always lovely to be read and receive wonderful comments, to connect with someone however briefly in the exchange of words. Its the clarity it gives my mind and the pure enjoyment of knowing my head is in a ‘good space’, because I need my head in that ‘good space’ in order to write. It doesn’t matter what comes out, be it poems or rants or self depreciating satire, the joy is in the words and the words come when my head is clear.
So what now Julie? Well lovely reader… good question.
I found it hard to continue after 2017, when the smalls had both decided they no longer wanted to be on the blog. As I said then, I respect that choice. I do think however in the future there is a place for me here, still things to say about life, happiness, bloody teens (probably), things of interest. So, yet again I’m thinking, blow the dust off the keyboard and have another go… Definitely older, certainly no wiser, just as scatty, a little less worn out but more frayed at the edges. Have another go….
So, lets see what happens, shall we?